HAPPY NEW INTERNET YEAR
Welcome to 1997. Soon the millennium will be upon us. In preparation for that epoch-marking event, I've begun preparing a list of resolutions and definitions that will define the age we live in. Changes in the technology infrastructure change the language much more radically than you might imagine. Below you will find what I've so far gathered.
In 1997 and in the new millennium, I hereby resolve to:
- always drink Jolt at surfing sessions
- do less ego surfing
- prune my logic trees in the fall
- read more Dilbert
- buy new computers before the old ones become chip jewelry
- never use crapplets
- never purchase plug-and-play hardware
- never flame friends-unless they're dead wrong
- never fall asleep giving a talk
- stay away from graybar transactions
- stay away from cobweb sites
- never blow my buffer
- trim my bookmark list
- never use e-mail for wake-up calls
- never use the low-cost solution
- fight implementation standards whenever they float to the top
- become more cash retentive
- clean out my 1988 "in" basket
- stop thinking I need more calculus
- read more S.J. Gould, the paleontologist
- not yell at Karen when she makes quantum physics error
- upgrade my operating system only once a year
- pay for my software
- buy new gadgets only when half of last years's gadgets are up and running
- teach my Rotweiller to be more sociable
- do expense reports promptly
- always take "the pink stuff" on Asian trips
- realize that X-Files is not a religion
- move my workstation out of my bedroom
- figure out the difference between geeks and nerds
- never take the Red Eye again
- buy no components in 1997
- never purchase Ethernet cards for $1,200
- never use the word paradigm (paradigm - 20 cents)
- never use my tongue as a voltmeter
- keep sufficient supply of WD-40 and duct tape on hand
- never calculate the lunch tip on my laptop
- never answer e-mail before coffee
- never roll my eyes on hearing that someone doesn't have e-mail
- never turn repairing household appliances into a control system project
- have dinner at home at lease once a month
- take clothes on trips
- stay the Alpha Geek
As appeared in Manufacturing Systems Magazine January 1997 Page 88
http://www.manufacturingsystems.com
